Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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