I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
