hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
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At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
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I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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