He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
