I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
love makes seman taste better
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
