period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize