a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
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No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
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Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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