guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i think my cat just said my name.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
