I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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