I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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