Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize