Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
