He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize