I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
you made out with another girl for some wings
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
