do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
