today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
