google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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