Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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