god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
