Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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