worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I am available for nakedness
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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