just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
