maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
