if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
