Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
