They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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