She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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