Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
