I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
