i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
