His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
my liver is dry heaving
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
