i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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