He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
