It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
