I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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