In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
All I want is dick and wine.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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