I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
