I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
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I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
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I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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