i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I miss vodka workout Fridays
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.