Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
