drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever