So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
