Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i believe in u and ur pee
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
