God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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