what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
