i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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