my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I think people are normalizing furries
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
