Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize