this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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