Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
