It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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