She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
