I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
