My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You are a booty call, not a friend.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
