I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
