we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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