in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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