I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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