Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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