Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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