We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
