She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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