My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
