I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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