The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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