something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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