I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
