I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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