Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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