you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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