I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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